Watch Dogs: SIN-surrection
by KnightSpark
Summary: In a world were all forms of perversion have been eliminated by government officials, along with a surveillance system designed for assisting law enforcement in keep tabs on anyone who would dare violate the iron-clad rule, two individuals with different ideologies band together to rebel against the law: a foul-mouthed, dirty joke spewing radical and a cynical grey-hat hacker.
1. Chapter 0: Stabbed from Behind

**KS: Hello, this is KnightSpark. I've been developing this new crossover fanfic on Deviantart and decided to show it here. Now, have any of you heard of a video game called Watch Dogs? If so, you must have enjoyed that feeling when you hack into a surveillance system and spy on enemies, distract them and mess with traffic lights? Or how about listening in conversations to get new information on a target? Yeah, that was cool. Now imagine being able to use those hacking skills in a world were all forms of obscenity were restricted, be it words or actions. Well, I'd say that's a recipe for one hell of a fanfic. Of course, we need a main character for this as well. How about we get one of anime's most cynical anti-social protagonists around? You'll see him soon enough. Now, on with the show!**

* * *

"Do you have the article finished?"

"Yeah, I'm posting it right now."

"Awesome. With this, we'll show the country just how flawed the Law for Public Morals and Healthy Child-Raising truly is. It's high time everyone got a wake up call."

In a dark room, multiple people were on computers, working on what appeared to be news articles. However, the articles were not about events, worldwide events or even the weather. They were written for the sole purpose of criticizing a law that was passed down 12 years ago. Many have accepted it as the norm, but these people were one of the few who would not let it stand. Obviously, they would be scorned or even arrested for making their thoughts public, so they created a blog that allowed them to question the law through the anonymity of the internet. This blog was known... as Deviant Nation.

"We're getting more followers everyday," a boy said. "And we just put up this site a few months ago."

"The government thinks they can control how we act and talk, but we've proven them wrong repeatedly," a girl cheered. "With this blog, we are free to express ourselves without any consequences at all."

The other members offered their positive feedback, but boy one did not join in the frivolity. He sat at his laptop, continously working on an extensive article that appeared to be ten pages long. One of the members noticed and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Dude, you're not seriously working on that again, are you? Just let it go already."

"Not happening," the boy replied harshly. "We can't oppose the government without dealing with Blume. Because of precious CtOS system, the PMs we're forced to wear are capable of making our lives more difficult. Exposing every lie they've spit out takes top priority."

"Please," the girl scoffed. "Blume isn't going to give a damn about how much they're being dissed. Any criticisms are just going to be directed to their main branch in the US."

"And for good reason!" another boy laughed. "They're caught up in so many scandals, almost no one in the States wants anything to do with them!"

The others laughed out loud, but the boy continued to work on the article.

"Laugh it up now, but I'm going to make sure that the Blume name will be mud worldwide, even if I have to do it myself."

The others shrugged and went about their business, leaving the boy alone to continue his seemingly fruitless task.

"Idiots," he muttered. "Always blind to the bigger picture."

As he wrote his article, he felt his PM buzz on his wrist. Turning the screen on, he viewed something through the camera feed that caused his eyes to widen. A group of men in women in white uniforms were preparing to break down the door.

"Oh... that's bad," he said, getting the attention of the others.

"What is it?" the girl said.

He turned to her with a grim expression. "Pack you bags, people. The Decency Squad has found us."

Their faces went pale upon hearing the news. Realizing there was no time to waste, they began to frantically copy every file they had developed onto flash drives and put them in small bags to hold them in. The boy copied his article onto a flash drive and hid it into his shoe.

"Okay, that's everything," he said. "Now, let's go!"

He opened a hatch in the middle of the floor, which lead to a secret tunnel. The three kids went down first and he followed shortly thereafter, closing the hatch and locking it.

* * *

The small group ran into the forest, hoping to get some distance between them an the Decency Squad.

"I think we gave them the slip!" the first boy cheered. "It's home free for us!"

"Hell yeah!" the girl added. "They'll never be able to track us!"

"All we have to do is move to a new location and continue our work," the second boy said. "We'll be back in business in no time."

The third boy sighed at their ceaseless optimism. "You lot are a real handful, you know?"

The girl rolled her eyes. "Come on, Hachiman, live a little. We have finally accomplished what others were unable to. There's no harm in celebrating a-"

"There they are! Don't let them get away!"

The quartet turned to their right and saw a group of Decency Squad officers running towards them, batons in hand.

"Crap! We gotta hustle!" the second boy shouted.

"Foul language!" one of the officers hollered.

The group ran faster to escape the squad, manouvering through the forest in order to lose them. Some of the officers tripped over branches and ran smack into trees, but the rest continued to follow.

"We should be able to lose them," the girl said. "They've got to have run out of stamina by now."

"If they did, we wouldn't be having this much trouble," the first boy replied.

They continued attempting to escape the the squad. This time, they went into an old trainyard.

"Split up!" the first boy ordered.

The group dispersed and ran towards different parts of the trainyard, where the squad officers did the same. Hachiman climbed up a train car and hopped on each one, escaping the officer that pursued him. Sighing in relief, he climbed down and continued sneaking, making sure he wasn't followed.

"Too easy," he said with a smirk. He stared walking out of the yard... only to be grabbed out of nowhere.

"Hey! What the-!"

Just as he turned a corner, two Decency Squad officers apprehended him and threw him onto a squad car, handcuffing him.

"We finally got the ringleader of that descpicable blog," one of them said.

The boy widened his eyes in shock. "Ringleader? What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb, kid," the other growled. "Your comrades pointed us in your direction. They said that you threatened to flood their inboxes with spam if they didn't help you."

"They did what?!"

The officer sneered. "Are you deaf or something? We just told you that they sold you out, punk."

The officers laughed as boy boiled with anger at being betrayed by those he considered kindred spirits.

"I can't believe this actually happened..."

* * *

**KS: Ouch, not good day for this kid. On top of being apprehended, he had the misfortune of discovering his so-called comrades sold him out to save their own skin. Shameful, really. But this is just the prologue. The main chapter will be coming up shortly, so don't go anywhere.**


	2. Chapter 1: First Meeting

**KS: Told you I'd post the first chapter immediately. Now we get to take a look at what's going on with 8man. I assure you, this will be a story to remember. Oh yeah, I plan on having this story crossover with several others, but unless I don't intend on revealing them just yet. For now, we're going to ease into 8man's new life.**

* * *

Hachiman sighed as he looked through window on the subway, watching the scenery pass by. No matter how many times he saw it, there was nothing special. Buildings, advertisments and the occassional propaganda displayed on billboards. The third sight made him cringe with distain, wondering how the country ended up in such a wretched state.

"It's like 1984, but in the 21st century," he muttered. "How did we end up like this?"

He turned on the HUD on his PM and watched a news clip.

"_In other news, Blume has made continued to make stride in advancing the PM system, allowing law enforcement to easily identify potential acts of indecency before they are carried out. While the public is enthusiastic for such a positive development, there are others who claim that Blume is simply attempting to save face after the main branch in the United States has been undermined and ridiculed by hackers._"

Hachiman scoffed. "They're so confident in a flawed system that has been exploited over and over again. I can't tell if they're in denial or desperate." He looks at his uniform and touched the pin. "And this school I've transfered to claims to have the highest morality in the country... how far did we fall?"

He suddenly got an uneasy feeling that someone was glaring at him. Granted, he was not unused to such treatment, but this time, it felt more intense than normal.

"I wonder who's giving me a evil eye this time around."

He turned to his right and saw a large man with short black hair and side burns glaring at him from a distance while grinding his teeth.

"What's his problem?" Hachiman muttered as he looked away. "It wouldn't surprise me if he knew about me as well, given how my name was plastered across every news station in the country. But still, that look he has reminds me of a gorilla."

"Excuse me, young man!"

He quickly turned to the man again, who was being confronted by a woman.

"Did you grope my rear just now?" she asked in an accusing tone.

"What are you talking about?" the man replied. "My hand wasn't anywhere near your rear."

The two began to argue, causing a commotion. Hachiman, however, immediately saw through the facade.

"Even if the laws have changed, people will still find a way to use it to their advantage," he muttered. "Plus, he was shooting daggers at me the whole time, so he has no reason to perv on that woman."

Hachiman took off his uniform jacket and unbuttoned his shirt, showing a black shirt underneath. In addition, he put on a red bean cap and sunglasses before putting his uniform in his bag.

"Now to check the map."

Hachiman opened his PM once more to look at the map. The train was nearing the station, giving him a perfect opportunity.

"Awesome. I can escape using that route."

Once the train stopped, Hachiman made his move and stealthily made his way towards the bickering duo without drawing any attention to himself.

"You're in big trouble, you lecherous-"

"Excuse me," Hachiman interrupted as he appeared between the two. "You have the wrong guy. I'm the one who groped your rear seconds ago."

The woman blinked. "...What?"

Hachiman grabbed her wrist and dragged her away. "Come on, let's go find a station so you can report me."

"W-What?! Let me go, you idiot!"

Hachiman and the woman got of the train just as the door closed, but she managed to free herself from his grip.

"Look what you've done, moron!" she snapped as she grabbed his collar. "Do you know how much you can get for reporting a pervert?"

"I don't know or care about that," Hachiman replied coldly. "And I doubt the DS are gullible enough to believe a false claim."

The woman growled at him, then rushed off towards a group of police officers.

"Help! That deviant has been harrassing me on train and said all kinds of naughty things!"

Hachiman grit his teeth as he saw the police run towards him. Immediately he rushed in the opposite direction, pushing past anyone that was in his way. Unfortunately, he saw the Decency Squad run towards him from every direction, cutting off his escape route.

"This is bad," he muttered. "I'm trapped."

"Did I hear someone say naughty?"

"Huh?"

Hachiman looked up to see who was said that, and was bewildered to see that the speaker was a female with long black hair wearing a white cloak.

"Who in the heck is that?"

"Oh no! It's her!"

Hachiman was taken aback by the officer's panicked tone of voice.

"We're under attack! It's Blue Snow!"

Hachiman did a double take. "What, what?"

Blue Snow turned around, showing off her golden eyes and... white panties covering her face.

"GREAT COCK AND BAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLS!"

The station fell silent for a few seconds, then chaos erupted. There was screaming and panicking all throughout the station as people evacuated.

"Whoa, talk about going from zero to a hundred," Hachiman commented. "At least I'm not longer in the crosshairs."

He ran in the same direction of the bystanders to blend in while Blue Snow continued spouting obscenities.

"COCK-A-DOODLE MY PUSSY!"

Hachiman sweatdropped. "Is she being serious right now?"

"Nothing beats saying dirty words in public!" Blue Snow said cheerfully. "Except saying them with panties over yo' face!"

In the corner of her eye, she saw the Decency Squad approach her. Instinctively, she gripped the sides, threatening to lift them up.

"Stay back, boys," she warned. "I'm not wearing anything under this towel. Grab me and it'll fall off. I'll be nekkid as the day I was born! Then anyone who pins me down will be blackmailed for exposing a woman in public!"

Hachiman chuckled. "Now that's how you exploit a law to your advantage."

Blue Snow reached into her cloak and pulled out a deck of cards. "I demand liberty from oppression! Dirty jokes are my civil right! Now some parting gifts, happy on the parts!

Hachiman caught one of the cards and looked at the picture, which was a buxom woman with crimson hair and blue eyes wearing purple lingerie complimented her figure. Needless to say, he was impressed.

"Not bad," he said. "Don't see a lot of girls sporting garterbelt nowadays."

He pocketed the card, then saw Blue Snow jump down in front of him.

"What are you doing?" she said. "I'll handle things here. You don't want to be late for your first day at school!"

Hachiman blinked. "Wait, what did you mean by-"

He was unable to get his question across as Blue Snow ran off, distracting DS members by throwing erotic cards at their faces. Sighing, he decided to take advantage of the confusion and make his exit. Putting on some gloves, he went to the railing, where a rope was there for him.

"Good thing I put the gloves on," he said. "Nothing ruins a good palm like friction burn."

Jumping over the rail, he slid down the rope, letting out an excited holler. Little did he know, he would soon meet with Blue Snow once more.

* * *

**KS: ****I just want to say how much I love Blue Snow. You don't see many characters would be dressed in nothing but a sheet and spouting out dirty words in a society that has allegedly remove them. Anyway, Hachiman is now off to school... but he's going to make a little detour on the way. You'll soon find out.**


	3. Chapter 2: Blending In

**KS: Wow, you people are really interested in how this fic will play out. Well, worry not, for I have posted another chapter. This will take some dialogue from the dub- (boos) shut it. As I was saying, this will take some dialogue from the dub with a bit of editing on my part. Regardless, this chapter is sure to get you excited for what is to come.**

"Talking"

_"Thinking"_

**"Radio/PM/Song or Game OST"**

* * *

Hachiman safely landed on the ground and dusted himself off, pleased with his successful escape attempt. He had thank Blue Snow for giving him time to escape with her rather, enthusiastic diversion. Nonetheless, he still had to get to school, no matter how much contempt he had for its reputation of being the school with the most decency.

"Might as well listen to some music on my way there."

Hachiman took out a pair of wireless earphones from his pocket and put them in, then opened the HUD on his PM, flipping through multiple radio stations until he found one with a logo resembling a skull with headphones.

"There's nothing I like more than listening to some explicit songs that pirate radio stations provide," he said.

He tapped the logo and closed the display, staring to walk down the road.

"**Hellooooo Tokyo! This is your lord and master uncensored beats, rhythms and tunes, the Gravedigger! I know some of you haven't been brainwashed by this bullshit regulation the government has thrown down, otherwise you wouldn't be hear ready to listen to some sweet-ass music! So without ado, let's get it on!**"

(**Playing: Still Not a Player by Big Pun ft. Joe**)

Hachiman listened to the music as he walked down the street. He found it refreshing that there are those who are still against the Law for Public Order and Morals in Healthy Child-Raising and were doing everything they can to support those who didn't stand idle and allowed the law to dictate how they should live their lives.

"If there is a good thing I could say about this law, it's that it gave rise to people who will do anything to stand against it," Hachiman mused as he continued his walk.

On the way, he witnessed just how deep the system had affected the people. To his left, he saw a group of men and women in heavy riot armor dispose of material that are deemed "impure" to the public eye. And on his right, he saw Decency Squad officers detain people that were possessing said materials and/or uttering any indecent words or phrases. All he could do was sigh and walk along while listening to music.

"This country is in a dire situation and they don't even realize it," he muttered. "Is anyone aware that the birth rate here declining? How in the world is enforcing public morals going to help with that? Spoiler alert: it's not going to. Bunch of idiots severely lacking in hindsight and foresight, if you ask me."

Hachiman continued walking to school while ignoring the unpleasantness around him. He secretly wished he could find away to uproot the system and open the people's eyes to their approaching ruin.

However, there was one problem with that plan. It was too big for one person to act on alone, and Hachiman was well aware of that.

But at the same time, he didn't want assistance in case one of them stabbed him in the back. And he would be damned if he let that happen again.

"Is this what they call a dilemma? If so, I'm having the worst one in my entire life."

* * *

Soon, Hachiman finally arrived at the new school he would be attending: Tokioka Academy, the school with the highest morality rating in the country. He followed a group of students past the gate that were walking towards the main building.

"If I remember correctly, I have to go to auditorium for some kind of assembly," he said to himself. "Whatever they have in store for me here, I'll be able to handle it."

He stopped following the group and turned off the radio on his PM. Taking off his earphones, he put them in his pocket and continued on, unaware that he was being watched by an unknown individual.

"He appears like he would be knowledgeable in the information I seek. I should go have an inquiry with him once the assembly is over."

(**End song**)

* * *

There were many things that Hachiman was not a fan of, and drawing attention to himself was at the very top of his list. Granted, tried his damnedest to blend into the crowd, but fate had a way of screwing him over.

"Hey, isn't that one of the hackers from the news?"

"I heard he gets into fights everyday."

"Why would they let a deviant enroll here?"

Hachiman let out a sigh of frustration. He was used to hearing people speaking ill of him, both to his face and behind his back, but in no way did he enjoy it. He resisted the urge to take out his earphones and listen to some music to drown the chatter, but he decided against it, figuring that it would be impolite to do so during an assembly.

"Now a word from your student body president, the esteemed Anna Nishikinomiya."

Hachiman ears perked up at the mention at name "Nishikinomiya."

"Why does that name sound so familiar?"

His put his train of thought on hold when he saw a girl with short silver hair, blue eyes and large breasts walk up to the podium. She had a gentle expression on her face as she spoke to the crowd.

"To all our new students, let me first say congratulations for making it in," she started. "As your president, it's my honor and privilege to welcome you to our school. I know it goes for all of us, whether you are new or been here a long time, we all feel excited and even a little nervous to start any term at any prestigious school, but you should feel proud that you made it. As many of you know, Tokioka is the top school in public morals, sometimes our rules may be a little strict, but never forget why you're here: to become the next generation as representatives of public morality."

* * *

Hachiman sat his desk, drawing in his sketchbook. His sketches composed of armored warriors wielding a multitude of weapons ranging from longswords, spears and war hammers. Most of the students kept their distance from, but looked mildly interested in his drawings.

"_That Anna sure knows how to get a crowd going,_" he thought to himself. "_Still, I can't help but wonder why her surname sounds familiar. Perhaps she's related to someone who was responsible for this damn law. A question for another day I suppose._"

"Mr. Hikigaya."

"_Speaking of questions, there's one that I haven't found the answer to._"

"Mr. Hikigaya."

"_How is it that Blue Snow knew that it would be my first day here?_"

"Mr. Hachiman Hikigaya."

Hachiman's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone calling his name. He quickly figured out that it was not coming around either side of him, but below. So, he looked down… and nearly flinched at who he saw. A girl with messy green hair and purple eyes with bags under them was staring at him intently under his desk and near his crotch.

"Hi, my name is Hyōka Fuwa," the girl said in a blank tone. "Sorry, I know this isn't exactly the normal way to meet, but I have a vital question to as you."

Hachiman didn't have time to respond as Fuwa suddenly rose up and got in his face.

"Can you please tell me where babies come from and how they are created?"

Hachiman blinked. "What?"

"I need to know the physical process," Fuwa added. "And please, be as detailed as possible."

Hachiman inwardly cringed at the blunt nature of her question, but at the same time, he was relieved that there was at least one person that wasn't brainwashed by the propaganda. Now there was the matter of explaining the basics of procreation and childbirth in a way that didn't make him look like he was attempting to appear immoral in anyway.

"Well, it's like this," he said. "Say you have a field, and you want to grow a fruit. In order to do that, you require a seed. But that alone isn't enough to get something growing in your field. You need to water it, give it some food and allow the proper aeration for it to grow. Then, you harvest the fruit and take a good look at all the care you put into it. That's kind of similar to what you're thinking about, I reckon."

Fuwa listened to him and hung on every word, interested in his logic. "That is an interesting explanation, Mr. Hikigaya. While I do not believe what you said completely matches my idea of how babies are created, you've given me something to think about."

Hachiman turned away and scratched his head. "Uh, thanks, I guess."

"At least you had the ettiquete not to lie to me, just like our entire society does," Fuwa responded.

Hachiman turned to her again, feeling unsettled by the look in her eyes.

"Scientifically speaking, the concept of love is far too vague and difficult to define to serve as a reliable biological mechanism," Fuwa continued. "It's my goal to discover the true meaning of reproduction, whatever it takes."

"Well, good for you," Hachiman replied, wanting the conversation to end before it got any more awkward than it currently is. He looked around to see the students whispering amongst themselves.

"_Then again, I can see where she's coming from. Since the government put every source of material that was related to procreation to the fire, everyone has no clue on the facts of life, and Tokioka is supposed to wear that like it's a goddamn badge of honor._"

"For days, I've conducted research outside the gynecology clinic," Fuwa said, raising the index finger on her left hand and forming an 'O' shape with her thumb and index finger on her right. "I asked every expecting mother to tell me what happened to them, what had caused a baby to grow inside them, but no one told me anything and I was banned from the premises."

"_Of course you were banned,_" Hachiman thought distainfully. "_They're not going to tell you how they have another life growing inside of them with the way you asked them._"

Fuwa grabbed Hachiman's shoulders and hoisted herself until her face was an inch away from his own. "I know you're an outsider. You're not like the rest of us. You know the real truth, but I feel that your verbal explanation was lacking in some areas, so I would appreciate a demonstration-"

Fuwa's tirade was cut off when a school satchel was dropped on her head, causing her to yelp and Hachiman to wince.

"_Not that I don't appreciate the intervention, but that looked painful._"

"Hachiman Hikigaya, right?"

Hachiman looked up to see a girl with golden eyes and black hair tied in a braid. Like the other girls, she was dressed in the school uniform, which emphasived her curvaceous figure.

"_Wait a minute,_" Hachiman thought as he looked at the girl. "_Where have I seen that figure before?_"

"My name is Ayame Kajō," the girl said in a business-like tone. "This is my second year. I'm the vice-president of the student council."

"No kidding," Hachiman responded with little interest.

Ayame raised a brow at his nonchalant tone, but let it slide for the moment.

"We've nominated you to serve as an intern for general affairs. Would you be so kind as to accompany me to our meeting?"

Hachiman leaned back. "Sure, I don't have anything planned right now."

Ayame's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. She found Hachiman's attitude to be a little grating and wondered why he should receive such a nomination.

"May I ask one one thing before you go?"

Hachiman looked down… and immediately cringed at the sight of Fuwa face down in his crotch due to Ayame's bag pinning her head down there.

"My theory is that p-" She stopped herself before she for set off a proverbal landmine, looking up at Hachiman. "That was close. I'll use euphemisms. I believe a man's cucumber is key to conception. Can you confirm that?"

"I will not confirm or deny that," Hachiman replied in a blank tone.

* * *

Hachiman was guided to the student council room, where he saw Anna and another familiar face seated a a table.

"It's wonderful to meet you, Hachiman," the siIverette said. "I'm Anna, and as you may have guessed, I'm a year two."

Hachiman bowed slightly. "A pleasure to meet you, Ms. Anna."

"Anna is fine," she replied with a giggle. "As president of the student council, let me first say how over joyed we are to finally have you standing here. We've been looking forward to you joining our school for a long time."

"Speak for yourself," the large man beside her said distainfully. "I wasn't looking forward to this at all."

"Oh, it's you," Hachiman said to him. "I wondered how I could miss your ugly mug."

"Don't insult an upperclassman," the man reprimanded. "I'm Raiki Gōriki, year three. I'm the secretary treasurer."

Hachiman sighed. "Noted."

Anna smiled. "Anyway, now that we're done with introductions, I'd like to get down to the real business. Is that okay?"

"Of course," Hachiman replied. "I'm all ears."

"Are you willing to accept your nomination as intern of the student council and help protect public morality?" Anna asked.

Hachiman tried his hardest to hold back any sarcastic remark when he heard those two damnable words. "It would be my honor to do so, Anna."

Ayame stared at him warily, wondering what his true intentions were.

"Still, I don't understand why I of all people was nominated," Hachiman said. "I mean, I am honored, but I just don't get why I was singled out."

"There is a good reason why we chose you," Anna replied. "At your last school, Sobu High, many considered you as shrewd, manipulative and unpleasant to be around due to your antisocial philosophy and rotten expression."

"_Again with my damn expression?_" Hachiman thought miserably. "_Why does everyone take shots at how I look?_"

"But despite that," Anna continued. "Your profile shows that you are very intelligent and have excellent analytic can adapt to any situation thrown at you. And that is kind of person we need to assist us with the crisis we are currently facing." She put a finger to her lips, which enticed Hachiman a little. "What I'm about to share with you is confidential, okay?"

"Got it," Hachiman said. "Consider my lips sealed."

At that moment, Anna replaced her smile with a serious expression.

(**Persona 5 OST: Tension**)

"For years, this city has enjoyed it's status as the purest in the nation," Anna explained. "But recently, a masked terrorist known as Blue Snow has been spreading toxic words and imagery, causing public morality to nosedive."

Hachiman pretended to look disgusted. "Yeah, you could say I had a front row seat to her shameless debauchery. The nerve of some people."

Anna now had a worried expression. "And it's hard for me to even say this, but to make things worse, we believe it's very likely that the masked terrorist is actually a student at this school."

"At this school?" Hachiman said in a surprised tone. "Unebelievable."

"Tokioka's reputation is at stake," Anna continued. "We have to hurry and get rid of this terrorist before the public finds out. But…" She began to bite her thumbnail nervously. "As desperately as we want to save this school, it seems that myself and the rest of the council can't spot her. We know so little about perversion that we don't even recognize it."

"_And they say ignorance is bliss,_" Hachiman thought amusedly. "_Looks like it's having an opposite effect._"

"I've witnessed an attack," Anna said. "I was right next to her. But I didn't know she was spreading filth because I don't know what filth is."

"It must have been so shocking for you to be caught up in such a contemptable attack," Hachiman said in a heartfelt tone.

Anna stood up with determination. "Mr. Hikigaya, with your intuition and intellegence, we should be able to identify Blue Snow! Join our fight and save our school, our city and probably mankind!"

Hachiman couldn't help but admire her drive, even if the cause was flawed to every known degree. Regardless, he decided to play along.

"Anna, I swear on my family name that I will assist you and the student council to the best of my abilities." He smirked widely. "Your will shall be done."

(**End song**)

* * *

"Hah… that was frustrating. Putting on an act like that is a lot harder than I thought."

The school day was over and everyone headed home for some much needed relaxation. Hachiman, however, was headed in a direction that was opposite to where he lived. He rubbed his head, tired from the act he put on in front Anna and the student council. As someone who couldn't care for the public morals law, he had to put out all the stops to make his drive convincing.

"Now, where is that data center?" he muttered to himself. "I can't delay any further. Best I get this out of the way so I can meet up with Ayame to discuss how to deal with Blue Snow. But still, I can't help but sense some kind of familiarity when I look at her."

Hachiman shook the thought away and focused on his main goal. He walked the streets until he came across a small building with a hexagonal insignia that resembles a flower.

"Blume," he spat. "They put their garbage technology across the city to further monitor us. The cameras were bad enough on their own, but when the public morals law kicked into action, it's gotten even worse. Anytime a person does an act that is deemed inappropriate, the Decency Squad will be on them like vultures to rotting carcass."

Hachiman ran towards a bush and hid behind it, changing out of his school uniform and switching it with a casual outfit. He put on a blue denim vest over his black shirt and wore black jeans pants and blue sneakers. He put the beanie cap from before on his head and wrapped a bandana around his face to cover most of it up. Finished his change, Hachiman put his uniform in his school bag and emerged from the bush, prepared to start his mission.

"Now, before I proceed to do my business, let's get a lay of the land."

He turned on his PM and leaned against a pillar, hiding from a camera. He raised up his PM and typed on a few keys.

"I hope they don't mind if I take a look around their private property," Hachiman said in an innocent tone. "After all, they've basically done the same for God knows how long."

He hacked into the camera's mainframe and was able to view the complex. He saw four or five guards wandering around, as well as a drone flying above them.

"Of course it's a drone," he sighed. "The cameras weren't enough, so they have robots doing most of their dirty work."

Hachiman looked at the guards and saw their profiles. Aside from their occupations, he noticed that each of them had an interesting secret. One had a hobby of collecting model mechas, while another did karaoke alone

"Man, how lonely do you have to be to do karaoke alone?" he mused. "Then again, I'm not one to talk. I perfer karaoke when no one is watching."

He continued view the guards' profiles, when one of them caught his attention.

"Hello, what do we have here?"

The guard was in possession of an access code, something that he needed.

"Don't mind if I do," Hachiman said, hacking the guard's PM for the access code. It didn't take long for him to retrieve the code, much to his delight. "Sweet. Now let's see what I can do with this."

Hachiman looked around for an alternate path of getting near the building since the gate was not an option. He noticed a crate conveniently placed near the wall and immediately got on top of it, climbing over the wall in the process. Once he was over it, he hid behind another crate and waited for the guard near the stairway to leave her post. Unfortunately, she didn't appear like she was moving anytime soon.

"Looks like I'm going to have to motivate her to leave," Hachiman muttered. "But how will I do that?"

He looked around the area for an opportunity to distract the guard, until saw the drone flying around. Hachiman smirked and used his PM to hack the drone.

"Try to ignore this," he said mischeviously. With the press of a button on his PM, Hachiman caused the drone to malfunction and fall to the ground, not only drawing the attention of the stairway guard, but all the others as well as they raced towards the drone.

"What just happened?"

"I have no idea! It just started fizzing out!"

As the guards panic, Hachiman took advantage of the confusion and went up the stairs, moving past an automatic door.

"I'm in. Now to find that data server."

He peered in every room in the building for his target. Sadly, he didn't have much luck.

"I figured it wouldn't be this easy," he sighed. "They appear to have learned from the errors of their Western companions of leaving important devices out in open. Now I just need to find the damn thing."

Suddenly, a beeping noise was heard on his PM. He opened the HUD and was surprised to see a message on it. It read: "come and find me~😊"

Hachiman let out a sigh. "I don't know why they have to mock me."

He tapped the message and screen changed to a blue and red background with the words "Hot n' Cold."

"For crying out loud, now we're playing a game?" Hachiman said in disbelief. "Fine, I'll play it. Anything to get me to that data terminal."

He tapped the screen once more. It presented a meter with the needle in the "cold" position.

"Of course, I have to find it using this thing," Hachiman groaned. "Fine. You want to make this difficult? Then we'll make it difficult."

Hachiman searched the rooms once more. The needle did not move from the "cold" position, prompting him to search even more.

"Where could it be…?

He went into the room in the middle and searched around, until he heard a buzzing noise from his PM, prompting to see the needle was slowing moving upward. Allowing a grin to form on his face, Hachiman continued searching the room. He walked towards the left wall, which caused the needle to swiftly move to the middle.

"I'm making progess, but it's not good enough. I'm clearly getting warmer, though. I should check the room next to this one."

Hachiman left the room he was previously in and went to the next one. The meter quickly return to the center and was slowly tilting near "hot."

"I'm getting close, I can feel it," Hachiman said before mentally pausing. "I nearly made a dirty joke. Looks like Bluew snow is influencing me more than I like to admit."

He continued to search the room for the data terminal. From how the screen was buzzing and the needle was twitching even faster, the terminal was surely in here.

"I just need to find out where it could be," Hachiman muttered. "It should be around in this empty room."

He took a step forward to the center of the room. and and the needle suddenly reached into the "hot" zone, buzzing frantically.

"X marks the spot, I guess," Hachiman mused. "Now where's the loot?"

He looked around, remaining where he stood to keep the needle in the "hot" zone, but nothing happened.

"Wait," Hachiman said in realization. "If I'm in the cneter of the room, then that can only mean one thing…"

Hachiman looked down to the floor, then crouched down. Nothing new appeared on the PM. He looked up to the ceiling and stood on his toes. This time, the words "tap here" appeared on the screen. Taking a deep breath, Hachiman tapped it, expecting something to happen. And something did happen. Part of the ceiling opened up, and decending from it was a odd rectangular device with the Blume logo branded on the top.

"I've finally found you, my precious," Hachiman said. "Now hand over your secrets to me."

He began typing on his PM at a rapid pace, hacking the terminal and copied all of the data within. He duplicated every bit of information into his PM until he got what he needed.

"Awesome. I'd like to see these things detect innappropriate words once I'm through with them."

Hachiman quickly left the building and the premises as the guards were _still _fixated on the sabaotged drone.

"Now with that out of the way," Hachiman said, hoping over the bush. "I better get myself dressed up to meet Ayame. Boy, is she in for a surprise."

* * *

**KS: Hachiman snuck into the building and grabbed the data like it was nothing. Boy, I hate to be those guards when they find out they've been robbed while they were focused on a drone. Anyways, if you liked this chapter and want to see more, be sure to fave, follow and comment. Be sure to use constructive criticism, alright? There's nothing I hate more than needless insults. Anyways, I'm out. Peace.**


	4. Chapter 3: An Odd Partnership

**KS: Wow, only two chapters and people are following this fic. This makes me feel very happy that you fine readers are taking the time out of your busy schedules to give this fic a gander. Also, one of the commenters asked if 8man would have any weapons and skills. Well, he is definitely getting those, but he won't be the only one. I've been inspired by Watch Dogs Legion and how many NPCs have skills that are needed for certain missions. I figured I can add that to the story and plan to include characters from other games and anime. Putting that aside, let's start the show.**

* * *

Hachiman stood in front of a mirror, now dressed in his school uniform, with a tense look. He had been like that for the past 10 minutes upon entering a public restroom. His slighty hostile expression was present before him as he stared at the reflective glass.

"God, I really look like a delinquent," he mused dryly. "No wonder people at Tokioka were giving me a wide berth."

He continued staring at his reflection intently.

"But that's not what I'm here for. I need to check for myself that this data I stole gave me the code to disable to PM's systems."

Hachiman took a deep breath, then exhaled.

"Alright, here we go."

He leaned closer towards the mirror.

"Happiness. Hap-piness. Hap-pi-ness. Hap… piness."

Hachiman took another deep breath before speaking.

"Penis."

He quickly glanced at his PM. Fortunately, it didn't turn on, much to his relief and joy.

"It worked! It actually worked!" He laughed to himself a bit. "I thought it would be too good to be true, but I'm glad I was proven wrong."

Hachiman stopped laughing and looked at the mirror again.

"Ovaries. Uvula. Uterus."

Hachiman leaned closer to the point where his nose was an inch away from the mirror.

"Vagina."

At that moment, the phone function on his PM began to ring, surprising him and causing him to stagger backwards.

"Who could be calling me at this time of day?"

He looked to the screen to see who was calling him. Once he saw the name, he sighed.

"Oh yeah, the council V.P. I forgot about her."

Standing up and dusting himself off, he pressed "Accept" on the screen.

"Hello."

"_**Mr. Hikigaya, where are you?**_" Ayame's curt voice asked from the other line. "_**I have been waiting for your arrival for a half hour, but you are nowhere near where I am. What is the meaning of this?**_"

"Forgive my lateness, Ms. Kajō," Hachiman replied in his business tone. "I had to run an errand for a friend and was unable to turn him down."

"_**If you don't mind me asking, what was this favor your friend was so desperate for your aid with?**_" Ayame asked.

"He needed help with moving boxes to his new place," Hachiman answered. "There were too many for him to handle on his own, so he asked me for the extra set of hands."

"_**I see,**_" Ayame replied. "_**I'll overlook your tardiness for this moment alone, but ensure that you are more prompt in the near future.**_"

"Will do," Hachiman said. "I'll come see you soon."

"_**See to it,**_" Ayame responded before hanging up. Hachiman couldn't help but sigh.

"Man, she's a real piece of work," he said. "Can't believe I'm going to be working under her. Maybe I can ask her what she knows about Blue Snow." He let out a chuckle. "Something tells me that she'll know more than I expected."

Hachiman walked out of the restroom with a big grin, excited to talk to Ayame.

* * *

"Interesting meeting place you picked out," Hachiman said, looking around the café interior, the place being empty with the exception of himself and Ayame, who was seated across from him.

"This place doesn't get many customers right now, so we can talk about anything," Ayame said with a hint of excitement to her voice. "I have to admit, Mr. Hikigaya, your acting was brilliant."

Hachiman leaned back and took a sip of water. "You really think so, huh?"

"She totally bought your heroic little speech!" Ayame squealed with joy. "Just as I thought, you're a boy who knows how to squeeze out the bullshit!"

Hachiman finished drinking his water and gently placed it on the table. "Is that so?"

Ayame blinked for a few minutes before speaking. "Huh. That was definitely not the reaction I was expecting. Kind of like how a biker didn't expect his yankee girlfriend to be rocking a schlong just as they were about to get down and dirty."

"Well, maybe the biker is into that women bearing male gentialia," Hachiman replied with a smirk. "Especially it's bigger than his own. Bonus if he has a size shame fetish."

Ayame's jaw dropped. "_What the actual raw fuck is going on with him? He doesn't react to me cursing a storm, or the mention of a transgender delinquent girl, and then he shoots back with a size shame fetish!_"

"You should take care not to keep your mouth open too long, Ms. Kajō," Hachiman said. "You may catch flies by accident. Or… would you prefer something bigger, longer and harder?"

Ayame quickly shook her head and regained her composure. "Well, you made this a hell of a lot more easier for me, getting me wet before we get down to business."

"And what business is that?" Hachiman asked, witnessing Ayame take off her glasses and undo her braid. But what didn't surprise him was the fact was she was putting on a fresh pair of women's underwear. On her face. Hachiman couldn't help but chuckle.

"So, you finally reveal yourself."

"That's right. Blue Snow, the dirty joke terrorist, aka, Ayame Kajō!" she announced as she made a stroking motion. "Nice to meet-screw!"

Hachiman let out a sigh. "Couldn't you find a better introduction? And while I'm at it, what gives you the impression that a pair of panties and wearing a sheet over your birthday suit would be considered a disguise?"

Ayame was taken aback from his criticism. "What's with the cold treatment? I put a lot of work into that disguise. If the cops or those Decency Squad pricks try to rip it off, they would find themselves arrested for violating the law they swore to enforce."

"That's clever and all, but it's not going to fool the ctOS once they identify you," Hachiman pointed out. "Blume upgraded their system and now it's capable of identifying a person from the smallest details, like eyes and hair."

"Hair?!" Ayame shrieked in horror. "I can be ID'd from my _hair _alone?!"

"Pretty much," Hachiman said matter-of-factly. "I'm amazed you weren't caught by the camera feeds or anything."

Ayame's head hit the table as she let out a frustrated groan. "Goddammit, how careless could I have been? I could have been caught and have my ass pounded by the long dick of the law."

Hachiman sweatdropped at her alteration of the phrase. "Even when you're in despair, you have the time to spew obscenities. I don't know if I should be impressed or concerned."

"Be whoever the bareback fuck you want to be," Ayame groaned. "I don't care."

Hachiman sighed. This girl was so full of energy and gleefully spouted profanity like it was going out of style, and he depleted her of that just by pointing out the fundamental flaws in her disguise. He should feel guilty about it, but he didn't because that's the way he is. Doesn't mean he can't attempt to make her feel better.

(**BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger OST: Hollow**)

"Still, I have to give you credit for evading the authorities for so long. You look like you're in peak physical condition."

Ayame lifted her head to look at him. "Y-You really think so?"

"Yeah," Hachiman said. "Also, I don't think I've seen a figure like yours. If not for this stupid law, many boys would lust after you and many girls would pray to whatever deity they worship that they had a body that matched yours."

What happened next was something Hachiman didn't expect or anticipate: Ayame suddenly rose and stood up on the table, raising her fist, which had her thumb between her index finger and middle finger, in the air.

"Oh, Hachiman, you know all the right words to get a girl wet!" she exclaimed. "I just know we're going to get along fine!"

Hachiman smiled awkwardly. "Uh… thank you?"

"Are you ready to order, sir?"

Hachiman turned to see the elderly owner standing next to him.

"I take it you're aware of her true identity?" he asked rhetorically.

"I am," the owner replied. "Can I start you off with a drink?"

Hachiman chuckled. "Of course you are. I'll take black coffee."

(**End song**)

* * *

After having a drink, Hachiman and Ayame conversed with each other.

"Wow, I'm seated in front of an infamous hacker," Ayame said in amusement. "Never thought I'd be bumping hips with one of the Chiba 99."

"Yeah, well, let's just say the group fell apart after some of us got caught," Hachiman said. "I still do some hacking on the side. In fact, I just made a visit to a small data farm owned by Blume and picked up something very interesting."

"Really?" Ayame asked while twirling the panties around her finger. "What is it?"

Hachiman smirked. "Data that can permanently disable the PM's ability to detect and report innapporiate langauge. I tested it out and it worked."

Ayame grinned widely. "Oh man, that is just priceless! Imagine if Blume were exposed for keeping such comprimising data! They would know what it's like to have their pants down!"

"You seem quite excited for someone who was in a deep depression," Hachiman said.

"I'll have to thank you for that, " Ayame replied. "It was like getting a boner on a cold day!"

"I… don't think it works like that…"

Ayame suddenly got in Hachiman's face, much to his displeasure. "But anyway, since you know my secret, there's no way I can just let you walk out of here."

"I'm certain of that," Hachiman said. "What do you want?"

* * *

Ayame moved Hachiman to a bunker beneath the café, where she told him something he couldn't believe he was heard.

"You want to create a dirty joke terrorist group?"

"Yep," she replied while grinning. "I want you to help me create a dirty joke terrorist group known as SOX. Instead of upholding the law, we'll tear it down."

"Now that is something I can get behind," Hachiman said. "But why SOX? It doesn't sound very indecent to me."

"I think it's a great name," Ayame protested, bringing in a white board with the name "SOX" written on it, along with what the letters stand for below. "Look! The "O" looks just like a butthole!"

"Ugh… I should've figured, given your true nature," Hachiman sighed.

"It's not like your name is any better," Ayame said with a frown. "I mean, Hachiman? There's nothing dirty about it at all."

"Well, pardon me that my parents named me after a divine being of archery and war," Hachiman replied defensively. "And don't think you can corrupt it with your perversion. I'm damn proud of my name for the record."

"I've done my homework on the god you were named after," Ayame said dourly. "And I couldn't find anything worth lewding up." Her sour expression soon gave way to a smirk. "Although, Hachiman was also known as the god of agriculture, so maybe-"

"Vetoed," Hachiman said curtly.

Ayame pouted. "Buzzkill."

"Pardon me for not giving you any satisfaction from corrupting my good name," Hachiman chuckled. "Go hop on a washing machine if you're desperate for pleasure."

"Ahh! You've got a knack for saying dirty things!" Ayame cheered. "I'm so excited, I could squirt like Niagara Falls!"

"Okay, I've been holding off on asking, but I'm going to do it anyway," Hachiman said. "I was able to bypass the PM my way, but how is yours not going off?"

"The answer to that is simple," Ayame said, reaching into her uniform pocket and taking out a flip phone. "It's because I have this."

Hachiman had a look of intrique when his eyes met the classic device. "Wow, a flip phone. Don't see those often anymore."

"When I punch in the secret code, it neutralizes surveillance, so while the phone's open, our PM monitors will stop working for up to three minutes a day," Ayame said proudly. "Today, I got 50 more seconds of invincible."

"Interesting," Hachiman said. "That's one hell of an exploit if you ignore then the three-minute limit. Whoever made that must be a genius."

"This was used to fight against the Law for Public Morals and Healthy Child-Raising," Ayame said as her tone and expression became sullen as she closed her phone. "It's the only effective weapon that my father, Masushi Endo, left me."

"Masushi Endo? You don't mean the politician who was accused of having illicit relations with a high school girl 10 years ago, do you?" Hachiman asked.

"The very same," Ayame answered. "But my father was innocent. The PMs had some thugs frame him so he'd no longer be a threat to their power."

Hachiman sighed. "It's not all that surprising. In this day in age, people will get arrested just because of some flawed program and backwards-ass law. A sad state of affairs, if you ask me."

"It sure is," Ayame said, opening the flip phone. "Also, Daddy preferred G-MILFS."

"TMI, woman," Hachiman snapped. "Keep your father's interests to your own damn self."

"He gave me the phone the day they took him away," Ayame said, reminiscing on her father's words.

* * *

(**10 years ago**)

A young Ayame stood in front of her father, who was sweating abnormally like he knew what was coming for him.

"_Remember dear, your love of dirty jokes is normal,_" he said as he handed Ayame the phone. "_Use this phone to live out your dirty dreams. I just hope three minutes a day is enough._"

* * *

(**Present time**)

"Wow, what a gift to give to your daughter before getting hauled off to the joint," Hachiman said. "I wouldn't have imagined giving anything of that nature to my child."

Ayame let out a chuckle. "In normal life, people think I'm a sourpuss, but that's just because I can't shout 'sourpussy' at the top of my lungs while making in-out hand gestures like my soul yearns to do."

"And thus, lead to the birth of the nude-delivering, profanity-shooting terrorist Blue Snow," Hachiman mused. "That's quite a metamorphosis, if I do say so myself."

"It sure is," Ayame replied, leaning against the table. "I can't change who I am, so I decided to change the world instead."

"Sounds pretty cool," Hachiman said. "But I doubt that's your only reason for doing this thing."

"I do have other reasons for being Blue Snow," Ayame admitted. "But you're not ready to hear those yet."

Hachiman sighed. "Figured it wouldn't be that easy."

Ayame stood and walked towards Hachiman. "I think we should team up."

Hachiman blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Given how you've been proverbally screwed over by this joke of a system, I'll give you a refresher," Ayame said. "The govenment has cracked down on anything suggestive and breathes down the necks of those who say inappropriate stuff."

"That much I am aware of," Hachiman replied.

Ayame's expression became bitter. "And now that Blume has gotten in bed with the people backing the Public Morals law, it's only giving them more opportunity to tighten their grip on everyone's fun sticks denying them the release they all deserve."

Hachiman gave her a blank look. "I find it amazing how you can mix innuendo with a serious discussion."

Ayame frowned at his dull tone. "Are you always this sarcastic?"

"Of course not," Hachiman replied without changing his tone. "This is what I'm like on a daily basis."

Ayame sighed, then replaced her frown with a smile. "Anyway, I definitely think we should team up."

"What makes you say that?" Hachiman asked.

"Think about it: a dirty joke terrorist and a hacker exposing a corrupt system sounds like a match made in Heaven," Ayame said.

Hachiman scoffed. "Some might think it was made in Hell."

Ayame shot an annoyed glare at him. "Okay, seriously. Can it with the shade, dude."

"Hey, dirty jokes are your schtick and sarcasm is mine," Hachiman defended. "I haven't been knocking on your habits, so you've no right to bash mine."

Ayame shrugged. "Whatever. Do we have an agreement?"

"That depends," Hachiman said suspiciously. "Give me one good reason why I should be joining this perverted crusade of yours."

"I'll do you one better," Ayame replied. "I'll give you two great big reasons why you should join this perverted crusade of mine. Just like you've got those two…" She opened up her flip phone before swearing once more. "Great big testicles!"

"You may want to chill out with that," Hachiman warned. "You're running the meter a bit too quick."

Ayame ignored his remark and put the phone in her pocket and walked across the room. "Reason number one: if I'm exposed as Blue Snow, it'll reflect terribly on Anna and the student council."

"Really? The student council I understand, but what does Anna have to do with this?" Hachiman asked.

"Anna's my bestie since our first year at Tokioka," Ayame answered, walking to the other side of the room. "Which brings me to reason number two: if she finds out she's been trading lunch and braiding hair with Blue Snow, the shock'll probably kill her."

"Are you really Anna's bestie?" Hachiman asked suspiciously.

"Of course!" Ayame said, turning around and making a cupping motion with her hand. "I said it with this mouth!"

"But you only have the one mouth?" Hachiman said in confusion.

"Hello! Girls have _four _mouths!" Ayame replied.

Hachiman couldn't help but sputter in shock. "F-Four? Then, what's the fourth… you know what, I don't even want know about it."

"Well, now that you've heard my reasons, do you feel like joining now?" Ayame asked.

Hachiman didn't take long to think on the matter. Ayame did have some points about the student council's reputation, not to mention Anna's and possibly Tokioka in general, would be dragged through the dirt if word got out that an infamous criminal was the vice president, but he couldn't help but wonder if she was exaggerating about Anna dying from shock upon learning her best friend was said criminal. Plus, he really didn't have much to lose. He always wanted a chance to knock Blume down a few pegs, and this seemed like the best opportunity.

"Alright, I'm in," he said. "But on one condition."

"Name it, and I'll do it," Ayame said.

"It's nothing lewd," Hachiman added.

Ayame looked dejected for a brief second, but regained a neutral expression. "What is it?"

"I think it's high time Blue Snow got a wardrobe upgrade," Hachiman said. "And I know just the place to get it."

* * *

(**Durarara! OST: Ikebukuro West Exit Five-way Intersection**)

Hachiman and Ayame got off the subway, where the latter stretched his legs and let out a satisfied sigh.

"Ah, Ikebukuro. How I've missed you."

Ayame turned towards him. "You've been here before?"

"Only a couple of times," Hachiman answered as they walked through the station. "Sometimes on business, and others on pleasure."

Ayame smirked. "Ooh, how scandalous."

Hachiman sighed. "Seriously, is your mind camping in a gutter somewhere?"

"Obviously," Ayame answered shamelessly. "Why else would I be oozing with lewdness?"

"I can't tell if you're being literal or not," Hachiman said distainfully. "But that's not important. I know a place where you can buy some clothes and not have your transactions tracked."

"Really? Where is it?" Ayame asked.

Hachiman smirked. "I'll show you."

The two walked out the station and into the city scape. Many people were walking around, look at the sights or their PMs on any news. There were also cameras placed in certain locations, as well as some Decency Squad officers patroling the area.

"I don't think I've seen this many DS goons in one area before," Ayame mused.

"If you've read the news, then you would know more," Hachiman said. "There's some kind of rumor floating around here that a gang known as the Dollars are supposingly aiding anyone who is against the Public Moral laws and the police have turned this place inside out looking for them."

"Judging from how they're walking like they the place, I'm guessing they haven't been successful," Ayame mused.

"Your guess would be correct," Hachiman replied. "They have been searching in every seedy part of city and asking questions to the civilians, but all of their leads are more dry than sand."

"And as long as people mind their own business, they Decency Squad will never know what's happening around here," a smug voice said from behind the duo.

(**End song**)

Hachiman sighed. "Oh brother. He's here."

"Who's here?" Ayame asked.

"The one person no human being on Earth would be dumb enough to associate with," Hachiman sighed. "And he happens to be the best info broker in Ikebukuro."

The voice let out a sultry chuckle. "Oh, Hachiman. You really have a way with words."

(**Durarara! OST: He's Such a Coward that He Can Laugh**)

Hachiman and Ayame turned around to see a young man with short black hair and brown eyes approaching them. His attire composed of a black coat with brown fur lining that goes down to his hips, along with a plain black long sleeved v-neck, pants, and dark brown shoes. Around his neck, his PM was styled in the form of two snakes crossing each other.

"Izaya Orihara," Hachiman said distainfully. "Never thought I would see you again. I was honestly betting on it."

Izaya chuckled. "Hachiman, you should know that Ikebukuro is my stomping ground, and I know every single thing that happens around here. But enough about me." He turned towards Ayame. "Mind introducing me to your lady friend?"

"My name is Ayame Kajō," she said. "It's… kinda nice to meet you, Mr. Orihara."

Izaya chuckled. "Please, call me Izaya. The 'Mr.' makes me feel old."

Hachiman got between the two. "Okay, enough flirting. What do you want, Izaya. You never approach me unless you've got more work that needs to be done."

"That much is true," Izaya admitted. "But I wanted to take a break from the usual routine and greet you normally. That being said, what brings you two here?"

"Hachiman is taking me out to shop for a new outfit," Ayame said cheerfully.

"Well, isn't that interesting," Izaya said with a grin. "And I assume he'll foot the bill?"

"Don't put ideas into her head, Orihara," Hachiman said with bite in his tone. "She's more than capable of paying for herself."

"Oh my, how cold can you be, Hiki-kun?" Izaya gasped in mock shock and posed as if he was going to faint. "Not paying for a lady's expenses? I had thought you were going to be a gentleman, but I guess I was mistaken."

Ayame sweatdropped at Izaya's actions and turned towards Hachiman. "Is he always this dramatic?"

"I can say with utmost certainty that this barely scratches the surface of what this guy is made out of," Hachiman said. "Ignore him, we're burning daylight."

(**End song**)

He walked past Izaya, and Ayame quickly followed suit. The info broker immediately noticed that the two had left him and quickly caught up to them.

"Now, hold on there. Before you go scampering off, I have a favor to ask of you, considering you owe me for giving you the location of that data."

Hachiman sighed. "Of course you would cash in favors. What do you want?"

Izaya smirked as he got in between them. "No need to rush. We can talk on the way to shop."

The three began to walk together as an uncomfortable atmosphere made itself known.

"This guy is a total creep," Ayame said.

"That much I agree with," Hachiman replied. "But like I said earlier, he's the best info broker there is and I would be lost without him."

"And don't you forget it," Izaya cut in.

Hachiman glared at him. "Shut up."

* * *

**KS: And here we have Izaya. Things are always shaking when he's around, and it looks like he and Hachiman have some history. Thought it's pretty obvious 8man wants to give the info broker a wide berth, and given his personality, no one would blame him. Anyway, if you want a summary of what their relationship is like, just think of Aiden and Jordi from the first Watch Dogs game. That alone should give you some ideas. Also, Ayame is getting is getting a new outfit for her Blue Snow disguise on Hachiman's suggestion. Special mention goes to EiNyx for pointing out the flaws in her old one. Be sure to fave, follow and review for more action. See you later.**


	5. Chapter 4: You'll Never See it Coming

**KS: Hey, y'all, I have returned. Forgive my long absence. I have been resting from dealing college, but now I'm back on the saddle. Let's kick off one hell of a perverted revolution, shall we?**

* * *

As Ayame was strolling through the market for a new costume, Hachiman and Izaya sat at a nearby table to discuss business.

"Why did you decide to show up of all times, Izaya?" Hachiman asked in a tired tone.

"Just wanted to check in on my favorite hacker and see how he was holding up," Izaya replied with a grin. "…Is what I would say to you, but we both know I'm not that kind of person."

"If you were being sincere with that phrase, I would have thought you were an imposter," Hachiman snarked.

Izaya chuckled. "You and me both. Anyway, I'm gonna tell you what I came to see you for."

"About time," Hachiman replied. "What is it?"

Izaya leaned forward. "Have you heard about that smuggling gang that has been on the news lately? The ones dressed in combat gear?"

"Oh yeah," Hachiman said in a grim tone. "Sure Fire."

"The very same," Izaya replied. "Unlike most hoodlums in the city, they have been able to hold their own against the police and the Decency Squad for quite some time now. Mainly because they're armed."

Hachiman nodded. "From what I've heard, they've been using modified model firearms against them, make it impossible for either group to apprehend them."

"And it's been working lately," Izaya added. "As of today, the Decency Squad has had no end of trouble dealing with Sure Fire, but that's expected considering they have no formal training outside of tracking down perversion."

Hachiman sighed. "I'm guessing you want me to deal with them?"

Izaya grinned. "I knew you would say that. My intel suggests that one of their hideouts is at an old warehouse. Clear them out, and let the cops handle the rest."

"I trust that I'll be given the appropriate tools for this job," Hachiman said. "Considering that the people you're sending me after are armed and dangerous."

"But of course," Izaya replied, shifting his jacket to reveal a pistol in his pocket. "This bad boy is an airsoft replica of a Sig Sauer P320. What makes this one special is that it fires a non-lethal spherical round that hits with the force of a baseball bat."

Hachiman gave the info broker a skeptical look. "For some reason, that makes it sound a lot more lethal than you let on."

Izaya took out the weapon and gave it to Hachiman. "Not to worry, my friend. This has been tested multiple times on… eager volunteers."

"Okay, now you're being more suspicious than usual," Hachiman snapped quietly. "I'm not even entirely certain this fires only non-lethal rounds."

"Fine, don't take my word for it," Izaya said with a shrug. "Just keep all of your shots below the neck and above the belt." He noticed Hachiman raise an eyebrow. "Just because they're criminals just mean they should be neutered."

"Takes a criminal to know one," Hachiman replied in a dry tone.

"But aren't you one yourself, Mr. Hacker?" Izaya asked with a mocking grin. "Or did you forget what happened two months ago?"

Hachiman narrowed his eyes at Izaya, then took the firearm and put in in his school bag. "You're lucky we're in public, or else I would have tested this thing to see what you said about it is true."

"I doubt you could fire that even if you wanted to," Izaya said, pulling out a pistol clip from his pocket. "It's not even loaded." He handed the clip to Hachiman and stood up, stretching his arms and preparing to walk off.

"That's it, then?" Hachiman asked incredulously. "You give me a gun and walk off like you were never involved?"

Izaya sighed and grinned once more. "Hachiman, how long have we done business together? As far as both of us were concerned, I was never involved. I just point you in the required direction and give you the tools needed to finish the job. Everything else is on your shoulders."

"That first part is what many would call minor involvement," Hachiman responded. "But I have a feeling you'd find some way to worm out of any accusations thrown at you."

"Ah, and here I worried you didn't know me that well," Izaya said in mock relief. "Until we meet again, my friend."

He walked away from Hachiman, leaving him alone.

"To this day, I still don't know why I put up with him."

Ayame came by, holding a pair of large bags in each of her hands.

"Hey partner," she said with a grin. "How was your little mutual jerk?"

Hachiman sighed and stood up. "There was a jerk involved, but not the one you're familiar with."

Ayame's grin dropped. "Rough convo?"

Hachiman waved the clip in her face. "Like you wouldn't believe."

* * *

"Let me get this straight," Ayame said while she and Hachiman were on the train back home. "That Orihara guy gave you the info about the box that contained the program to disable to the PM system, and you took it, but now you have to do a hit on Sure Fire as payment for the info?"

"In a nutshell, yes," Hachiman replied, not liking the skeptical look Ayame gave him.

The ero-terrorist let out a sigh. "Are you sure there wasn't anything else you could do to pay him back?"

"I thought of asking him that, but chances are he would make me do something even more undesirable, so I decided against it," Hachiman admitted. "Izaya is just that kind of person."

"What made you associate with the likes of him anyway?" Ayame asked. "I can tell just by looking at him that he's the type of guy who takes pleasure in manipulating people."

"That's a story for another time," Hachiman said. "I'm not really prepared to explain the full details of our, as it pains me to say it, partnership."

Ayame stared at him for a few moments, then turned away with a grin. "Fair enough."

"Wait, what?" Hachiman said in surprise. "You're not going to grill me on why I'm making deals with a sleazy info broker?"

"Hey, I wouldn't tell you about my reasons for being you-know-who earlier," Ayame said. "I guess this makes us even."

Hachiman blinked in confusion, then sighed. "You are a lot more understanding then I gave you credit for."

"Just goes to show one shouldn't judge another by appearances alone," Ayame said. Her expression turned serious and she poked Hachiman in the head. "Don't think I approve of this little 'errand' Izaya has sent you on."

"No one said you had to," Hachiman sighed. "And quit acting like you're my wife."

* * *

After getting off the training, Hachiman and Ayame said their goodbyes and went on their separate ways. Ayame was headed home, but Hachiman had to do something before he did the same.

"Alright, let's get this over with," he said to himself.

He was currently in front of the warehouse Izaya told him about. He wore the same clothes he used to inflitrate the data center and held the gun Izaya gave him. Slowly, he walked towards the building, hearing the sounds of chatter grow louder with every step he took.

"This is primo stuff. We're sure to get serious dough for this."

"It's vintage and intact. I can definitely say we're getting one hell of a payday for this."

Hachiman hid behind a box and peeked out a bit. There, he saw eight people wearing camoflage uniforms and ski masks. Like Hachiman, all of them were armed with small pistols.

"These must be the grunts," he muttered. "Getting overconfident just because they have a stash of skin mags on hand." He chambered a round his pistol. "Time to scare some humility into them."

Moving from the box he hid behind to another where a grunt was leaning on, Hachiman took a look at the others to see if they were looking in their direction. Lucky for hi, none of them were doing the sort.

"Alright, Hikigaya. Remember your training."

He quickly grabbed the grunt from behind and delivered a swift chop to the back of his neck, knocking him immediately without alerting the others.

"One down, seven to go."

Hachiman took the pistol from the grunt he incapacitated and inspected it from every angle.

"This guy has a Sig Sauer as well, huh?" He removed the ammunition clip from the model firearm and patted the grunt's head. "At least you're going out with style."

He poked out his head to view the remaining grunts, who were still lazing about.

"This shouldn't be too difficult," he muttered. "I just need to knock the rest of them out and be on my-"

"Hey, Kazuya! When did you get quiet over there?" a grunt called out.

Hachiman mentally cursed himself for tempting fate.

"So much for stealth. Time to go loud and dumb."

He emerged from the box, alerting the other grunts and prompting them to point their weapons at him.

(**Quantum Break OST: Dodging Bullets**)

"Who are you?! And what have you done with Kazuya?!"

Hachiman chuckled. "Me? I'm just a simple hacker." He aimed his own gun at the group. "Who's about to wreck your shit six way from Monday."

The grunts flinched in surprise at his language. "What the… he just cursed at us! Why isn't his PM going off?!"

"What do I look like, a programmer?!" another grunt snapped. "Open fire!"

They shot at Hachiman, but he quickly ducked out of the line of fire behind a barrel. Peeking, he aimed at one of the grunts and shot him in the chest several times until he fell.

"Wow, these rounds pack a bigger punch than I thought," he mused. "Good thing too, because I want to get this over with."

Hachiman emerged from cover and shot at another grunt before he could fire at him. He narrowly dodged a hail of rounds fired at him and shot down the assailant.

"That leaves five more," he muttered, reloading his pistol. "I just hope I don't get any surprises."

One of the grunts broke open crate and took out an assault rifle. "Enjoy looking like a spotted mess, you punk!"

Once again, Hachiman cursed himself for jinxing himself as he saw the grunt shoot at him with the rifle, immediately ducking for cover to avoid getting hit.

"He's got a rifle," he groaned. "That militia wannabe is packing a rifle. I feel very insignificant compared to him."

The grunt stopped firing when Hachiman was no longer in his sight. "Go after him! He can't be allowed to report this to whoever sent him!"

The other grunts acknowledged the order and rushed to attack Hachiman. All of them got a surprise when their target jumped out of cover and punched one of them in the face, then shot at the other two. Hachiman held up the grunt he punched and threw him at the other grunt, knock him down.

The grunt holding the assault rifle glared fiercely at him as he quickly reloaded. "You son of a-"

"Yeah, let's not to do that," Hachiman said, rushing towards the grunt, vaulting over the crate before punching him, grabbing the rifle from his hands and beating his head with the weapon, knocking him out.

(**End song**)

"And like that, it's over. I hope Izaya appreciates what I did for his snake ass."

Hachiman held up the rifle he took from the grunt and inspected it.

"An HK416. It's a decent weapon." He looked at the prone grunt with distain. "Wasted on the likes of you and yours."

He took the ammunition clips from the grunt and quickly rushed towards the exit, picking up his back and place his ill-gotten goods inside.

"I'm gonna sleep like a log when I get home. I'm not going to get up, even if the alarm goes off."

* * *

-**The Next Day**-

Hachiman had really wished he'd slept despite the alarm, otherwise he wouldn't be in his current position.

Said position involved him being tied to chair in room he was unfamiliar with.

"This is not how I wanted to start my morning," he groaned.

"It's about time you woke up, Mr. Hikigaya."

Hachiman looked at who spoke to him, as well the reason he was like this to begin with, who was none other than Hyōka, who was pouring a steaming black liquid into a beaker.

"Where in God's name am I?" he asked with an irritated tone.

"We are in the school chemistry lab," Hyōka answered, putting down the beaker and walking past him. "I had a pressing question for you, so I invited you here."

"The only people who would consider what you pulled an 'invitation' are those shady groups who are plotting something," Hachiman snarked.

For those who require context on how Hachiman ended up where he was, here is what happened.

* * *

-**5 Minutes Earlier**-

Hachiman arrived at the lockers, letting out a loud yawn. He took off his shoes and opened his locker, only to be hit with a cloud of purple mist that shot out from the locker, causing him to lose consciousness and fall to the floor. Before he went under, he caught that faint image of a seaweed haired girl wearing a gas mask.

* * *

-**Present Time**-

"And here I thought my previous school was loaded with freaks," Hachiman grumbled. "But even a coven of decency like Tokioka has its fair share."

Hyōka walked up to Hachiman, holding up a box that was covered with a small sheet.

"Take a look at this box," she said simply.

Hachiman narrowed with eyes at the box. "As a famous internet personality once said, I don't like where this is going. But I must know what you in there."

"My pet flies," Hyōka replied. "They are currently melding their bodies together.

She began to lift up the sheet from box, revealing the flies in a position far too provocative for even the most daring amateur writer to describe. The sight caused all the blood in Hachiman's face to drain significantly.

"Just when you think you've seen Hell, life finds a way to surprise and/or disgust you," he groaned.

"I recently discovered that when a female fly lays eggs, she joins her lower with the lower body of a male fly," Hyōka said, ignoring Hachiman's remark. "I hypothesize this body melding is central to fly reproduction and a similar phenonemon must happen between a human male and female, and so my question is: what do you think about that?"

She leaned close towards Hachiman, making him all kinds of uncomfortable.

"I think you need to see someone," he said. "Or at the very least, smoke some pot. I never done it myself, but maybe you could give it a shot and see what happens." A silent, yet quick scraping noise was heard from behind him. "But to really answer your question, I'm not a big fan of flies. I'm too busy with swatting or shooing them off to fully comprehend what their mating habits are like. That said…"

He shot up from the chair he was bound in, the ropes that confined his being cut apart.

"But… how?" Hyōka asked in surprise before noticing a metal object in Hachiman's left hand. "A nail file?"

"Yep," he replied as he pocketed the object. "This bad boy has helped me out of many jam, a lot of them involving rope." He glanced at Hyōka before leaving. "I'll talk you later, hopefully something that's not cringe-worthy."

He left the room, leaving Hyōka all alone.

"I fail to comprehend what marijuana has to do with our conversation," she said.

* * *

"_**Glad to see that you got the job done, Hachiman. I was worried you would've chickened out at the last second.**_"

"Yeah, you would like that, you viper," Hachiman whispered venomously. "I shot all of those Sure Fire posers on your behalf, so I hope this makes us even."

"_**Judging from the news report this early morning, I suppose so,**_" Izaya said. "_**But I hope this doesn't mean your terminating our little partnership.**_"

"Of course not," Hachiman replied. "As much as I hate to admit it, I couldn't have come close to where I am without your guidance."

"_**Ah, your praise warms my little black heart,**_" Izaya swooned. "_**Talk to you later, Kumo.**_"

**CALL ENDED**

Hachiman slumped back, his sigh reverbing around the stall he sat in.

"Finally got him off my back," he muttered. "At least for now until he has some other dirty job for me to do." He let what he said sink in and groaned. "Damn. Ayame's starting to rub off on me… thank God she's not around to hear that."

He soon heard some mumbling outside of his stall.

"Hey, did you hear? Word is, if you wear a girl's undergarments, your pe- I mean, your tricky stick falls off."

"Whoa, seriously? Because I heard wearing a girl's underthings makes you grow, um, schmammary glands."

"Guys, did you know if a girl lifts weights, her hair down there turns into a boy pickle?"

"Oh, come on, that doesn't seem credible."

Every word that came out of the boys mouths made Hachiman cringe like he never had before.

* * *

"That's silly," Ayame said with her arms crossed. "Obviously, if a girl grows a boy pickle, it's a mutation of her rhymes-with-flitoris."

Hachiman let out a long sigh laden with frustration. "I knew it was a mistake telling you what I heard, and I knew I should have blocked that noise out when I had the chance."

"Well, it's a good thing you didn't," Ayame said. "This is the true nature of Tokioka, the most moral school in Japan. Everyone constantly gossips about forbidden topics using codewords PMs can't detect, but it's all ignorant bunk because they've been sheltered from the truth."

"So they're all just brainwashed and don't realize it, huh?" Hachiman deadpanned. "Stop the goddamn presses."

Ayame threw down more cards of provocative women, prompting Hachiman to pick them all up. He inspected all of them, but his favorite was a green haired girl with snake-like eyes in a nun outfit with her cleavage exposed, licking a knife.

"Not my kind of thing, but I like it," he commented, putting the picture in his pocket.

"No matter how many hotties I throw out, they still won't get it," Ayame said. "'Cause we're missing the most important part: the old docking manouver."

"Well, keep in mind that it was still illegal to show the act long before this ass-backwards law came in to fruition," Hachiman said, stacking all the cards and handing them over to Ayame.

"Let's not get off course here," Ayame advised, taking the stack from him. "The point is, as founding members of SOX, it's our duty to educate the ignorant masses of this school about what docking actually is."

"If that's the case, that Hyōka girl seems like a worth candidate as a member," Hachiman said. "A little on the creepy side with no sense of personal space, but she appears interested in the subject of docking." He shuddered at the recent memory. "Disturbing as it is."

"No way!" Ayame protested. "That chick is full-blown crazy in the head."

"Hearing that from you doesn't really make me feel confident," Hachiman deadpanned, then grew a smirk. "Although, I have some ideas involving a pair of flies that have been doing their version of the horizantal tango."

Ayame's eyes widened in surprise and interest. "Wait, what?" She grew quickly grew a smirk of her own. "That's perfect! This weekend's school assembly is getting dirty terrorized!"

As she laughed victoriously, Hachiman kept his smirk.

"_I've created a monster. But at least she's a monster with a great rack._"

* * *

-**That Weekend**-

Hachiman and Ayame stood outside the school field, ready to carry out their plan.

"We're really doing this, aren't we?" he said.

"Of course we are, champ," she replied vigorously, handing him a pair of panties. "Just remember to put on your game face."

Hachiman was slightly off-put by the scandalous number he was given, but he quickly handed it back to her. "I appreciate the offer, but I came prepared." He lifted a large bag and unzipped it, showing Ayame what was inside. Judging from her expression, she was impressed.

"Ooh, aren't we prepared," she mused.

"What can I say?" Hachiman said. "I'm a man of surprises."

(**Persona 5 OST: Last Surprise**)

"Alright! Our rebellion has begun!" Ayame cheered as she took of her glasses and undid her ponytail. "Now it's time to say goodbye to this boring world where dirty jokes doesn't exist! From this day onward, things get titillating!" She said this while pumping her fist into the air with her thumb between her index and middle finger.

* * *

In the auditorium, the students were all seated to hear the assembly.

"Today, we have a very important announcement," the school chairman said. "Next month, we kickoff our campaign to collect signatures for the approval of the new, more stringent ban we're calling: X Prohibition."

Before more could be said, the lights suddenly went out, then extral lights shined on some large spheres that hung from the supports on the ceilling. They soon opened up, causing cards to fall from them and decend to the crowd beneath them, where they immediately caught them.

"A picture of a woman? She isn't wearing much. What is this for?"

"Um, I feel kinda weird."

"I feel… warm and tingly."

Everyone began reacting to the cards in various ways. Some looked with curiousity, while others were more vocal in with their reactions.

"Stop looking!" the chairman ordered. "STOP!"

The teachers attempted to make the students cease, but to no avail.

"Please stay calm, teachers!" Anna ordered. "We have to think!" She bit her thumbnail as a frustrated scowl marred her serene features.

"_This is a diversion,_" she thought. "_Blue Snow must have another target!_"

Suddenly, her PM began beeping, briefly interrupting her thought. She tapped it on saw Ayame's name on the screen.

"_**Anna, there's someone outside on the track,**_" Ayame said on the other line.

Anna's eyes widened. "I knew it! Mr. Goriki, teachers, come on, let's go!"

* * *

Out on the track, Hachiman, dressed in a red hoodie, black pants and shoes and a skull mask ran the line striper around, forming a particular shape.

* * *

Ayame was in the AV room, standing in front of two incapacitated students while wearing her "mask."

"Foreplay's over," she said. "Time to go all the way. Don't let them catch you, Hachiman."

"_**Roger that,**_" he replied.

Ayame turned up the volume, letting her voice be heard over the speakers.

"Ah~! We can't! You're a rebel who wears leather and I'm a good little girl rich girl at the top of my class~!"

On the screen was a video of the flies melding their bodies for all to see.

"_But look how wet you are. I know you want me and my bad boy 'tude._"

"Oh! Yes, yes I do~! Thrust your schlong into my house like there's no tomorrow~!"

"_Here I go! Brace yourself for my rebel love._"

Hyōka watched what was playing, but her expression was unchanged.

"What is this?" she asked.

She looked around to see the other students watch as strange noises were heard. Noises that caused them to feel… well, strange.

"Oh! Oh, wow! It's so good! Oh my God, oh my God!"

The feelings within the students soon began to reach their peak.

"W-What's happening to my bathing suit area?"

BODYMELD

"I'm warm and I don't know why!"

_BODYMELD_

"_What's happening to my body?_" was the collective thought of every student present.

Another student had a similar thought.

"_What is this feeling…?_"

As the sounds continued, the proverbial dam, or volcano in some cases, erupted.

"I'M SO HOT~!"

"Me too! What is that?!"

All of the students collapsed, unable to comprehend what they were feeling.

"Ahh~ Shoot your hot spunk inside me!" Ayame cried out in the most sensual tone ever made.

* * *

Anna, Goriki and the a handful of teacher rushed through the halls to get to the track to stop whoever was out there.

At the same time, Hachiman continued moving the striper in a fixed direction, already having a shape in mind.

"_This is just the beginning,_" he said, excitement running through his veins. "_This is how we change the world. We're going to start an insurrection to make the people see what they're missing out on._" He chuckled to himself. "_Nah, that's far too tame. We're getting them to embrace their base instincts and open their eyes and hearts to the sinful things in life. This is my… our… sinsurrection._"

* * *

**KS: This is just the beginning. Hachiman and Ayame will tear off the facade the world has confined itself in and make it see the light. That's from me, people. Leave your likes and comments down below. I'm out. Peace.**


	6. Chapter 5: New Developments

**KS: (sighs) Times are tough. This new pandemic has gotten everyone scared. Hell, the atmosphere in my house tense AF. Still, we must perserve and not let despair overtake us. There are people out there who are doing their damndest to find a cure, while others are staying at home to keep themselves from catching it. As for us, we should do our part and make fanfiction to lift the spirits of those affected. Now, without further ado, I present this new chapter. Enjoy.**

* * *

(**Persona 5 OST: Behind the Mask**)

Hachiman and Ayame were at the café after school, resting after their sabotage of the school assembly. Ayame in particular had a huge grin, proud of what they have accomplished.

"Well done, Hachiman," she said, holding up her phone. "What a huge sex-cess, huh? Hear that pun?"

"I'm sure a 60 year old man with hearing impairment heard it from at least miles away," Hachiman deadpanned.

"Oh, don't be like that," Ayame said. "Nobody will figure out it's you, what with that outfit you had on. I can't imagine anyone going out in public with that fashion disaster."

"I am not taking that crap from someone who thought underwear and a sheet would be a suitable disguise for an infamous terrorist," Hachiman shot back.

Ayame sighed, then picked up a cookie, then began inserting a pocky stick into the creamy filling, much to his annoyance. "Well, fine, sit and stew in your juices. Fact is, you luring Anna away means I got to give a three-minute show on fly banging. And I was on the nose, I'm sure even the delicate flowers at our school could figure out what body melding is."

"Hey, I understand that being a shameless pervert is your schtick, but would it kill you to draw the line somewhere?" Hachiman said in frustration. "I don't see why your food has to suffer."

"It's normal," Ayame replied, biting into the stick. "You only see pervy pocky sucking 'cause deep down, you have a dirty mind. And when I want you to be dirty, you somehow class it up. Who would've thought that disguising a girl's personal flower as an actual flower would get people buzzing?"

"You liked it?" Hachiman said. "I saw the original image you wanted me to paint, so I decided to make it into an flower to keep the people wondering why it's there. Plus, I've heard about flowers that resemble a woman's private region, so it wasn't that hard."

Ayame laughed out loud. "Man, you're a riot! And I thought you would be too limp to rise to the occasion."

"Hey, I'm not like you," Hachiman said. "I just like to add a bit of art to my madness. It's not like a get an adrenaline high from it… often."

"You don't have to deny it with me," Ayame replied. "The first time I terrorized the school yelling 'clit cock', I got such a rush down there, I had to go to the bathroom and stand on the garbage can to air out my undies with a hand dryer."

Hachiman sighed and facepalmed. "With anyone else, I would be concerned, but seeing how this is you, I shouldn't even be."

"Oh, you're such a treat," Ayame tittered.

"Well, this has been good, but I got to get going," Hachiman said, getting up from his seat. "I've got some work to do and people to spy on."

Ayame's perverse grin returned. "Well, I didn't take you for a voyeur."

"It's espionage, not voyeurism," Hachiman corrected as he walked towards the door. "There's a world of difference."

He left the establishment, unaware that Ayame still had her grin.

"As if there's any difference," she said. "There's spying involved."

(**Song end**)

* * *

Donning his disguise, Hachiman snuck around a restricted area that had Decency Squad members patrolling every corner.

"They've really beefed up security detail," he muttered. "The stunt Ayame and I pulled must have gotten them to wise up by a margin. It still won't stop me from getting in there." He looked at the small building that the DS were guarding. "Izaya said that a sympathizer of the terrorist groups has been developing some kind of device that can stun at least five people. I better get the blueprints before they figure out what it is."

Hachiman took to the shadows and made his way near the building, hearing two guards standing near the front entrance having a conversation with each other.

"Man, we're really getting more work than normal," one guard said.

"Can't say I'm surprised," the other guard replied. "After what happened at Tokioka, the higher ups don't want to take any chances. Still, whoever was responsible had a lot of brass to pull a stunt like that."

The first guard nodded, him and his colleague. "Yeah, my kid came home blushing a storm, muttering all kinds of weird stuff. The doctor didn't think he had a fever, but he suggested that he go to therapy to rid him of any strange feelings he has."

"I know you what you mean," the second guard added. "That same day, my daughter rushed in and started talking my ear off about a flower being painted on the track field. What in God's name was the perp thinking, doing that?"

"Who knows for certain?" the first guard replied with a shrug. "For all we know, the two incidents were connected with each other."

"Actually, I heard they were," the second guard said. "That impure video with the flies was just a distraction for the flower painting. I swear, these terrorists are getting too bold for their own good."

"I agree," the first guard sighed. "It's times like this that I wish the Decency Squad would step its game up. We never get any advanced training or firearms. There's some pretty dangerous gangs out there, even though they use airsoft guns."

"Don't talk so casually about those," the second guard chided lightly. "My friend lost an eye because of those things. Plus, I heard they were modified. That gang with the militia theme have been making good use of them."

"What, Sure Fire?" the first guard scoffed. "A small group of their gang was found injured last night, hoarding a box fully of unhealthy materials. They're nothing more than punk kids trying too hard to look cool."

"Cool or not, I'd rather not go up against their numbers unprepared," the second guard said. "Our guys have a lot of trouble with them as is."

The first guard sighed. "At least we agree on that."

Hachiman shook his head and climbed through a window. He slowly walked up the stairs, peeking past the corner to see a guard standing near an open door.

"I'll give them an 'A' for effort, but they get an 'F' in efficiency," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small, metallic marble with a black stripe.

"Technology truly is a double-edged sword for some people. In the right hands, it can be used for all sort of good. And in the wrong hands… well, look no further than the fine people at Blume."

He put the marble on the floor and opened a screen on his PM. The stripe on the marble glowed blue and quickly rolled towards the room. The guard was completely unaware as the marble entered, and standing inside were two DS guards going through a laptop, looking at a set of blueprints.

"What exactly was this guy trying to make?" one of them said. "Some kind of radio jammer?"

"I'm not sure myself," the other replied. "Maybe it's a device that can disrupt the PM's systems."

"Whatever it is, the one who made these blueprints won't be needing them where he's going. Now, if only we can find him, we can shut down any future operations he has planned."

As the guards conversed, Hachiman downloaded the blueprints for the device. Satisfied, he called back the marble and picked it up, making his way out of the building with the DS being none the wiser.

"It's a good thing these guys don't have day jobs, 'cause they would suck at them," he said to himself with a smirk.

* * *

When Monday came, the atmosphere in the Student Council room was, for a lack of a better word, palpable. Everyone present had tense expressions, but two of people were faking them to keep up the illusion.

"This council suffered a decisive loss on Saturday," Anna said in a somber tone, which soon gave way to one of determination. "But we will not allow terrorism to defeat us."

"Hear hear," Hachiman said. "The one responsible has another thing coming if they think we're sit back and writhe in our failure."

"I agree," Anna replied. "But to add insult to injury, we can't figure out why the terrorist drew a flower on the track."

Hachiman leaned back. "It is a mystery. Maybe they're trying to freak us out."

"For now, let's focus on the gym attack," Anna said. "What message are they sending with the video of flies engaged in wrestling match?"

Hachiman stifled a laugh at Anna's comment, finding her ignorance of the truth of the video humorous.

"It's even weirder than the flower," Goriki added. "However, after listening to the student victim testimonies, I'm now convinced it had a hidden dirty message supporting delinquency." He glanced Hachiman, then slammed his fist on the table, startling him. "And you know what it is, don't you? You enjoy disrupting public order, what with being a hacker!"

"Oh, you think I was a hacker for fun?" Hachiman said, glaring at his upperclassman. "What do you know, you stupid gorilla?"

Goriki growled lowly. "So you have to nerve to insult me to my face, huh?" He pointed an accusing finger towards Hachiman. "I don't trust you for a second, you pencilneck geek!"

Hachiman turned away with a scoff.

"I thought you said you were going to run a background check on Hachiman to expose any perversion and protect the sanctity of our council."

Everyone turned towards Ayame, was smiling.

"But while you were digging for dirt, he selflessly saved your posterior, making you an ungrateful gorilla."

Goriki grit his teeth in frustration, while Hachiman looked at him in shock.

"Is that why you were glaring at me on the train a few days ago?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," Anna said. "I tried to stop him, but because of your background, he insisted."

Hachiman sighed and leaned back in the chair. "Whatever. What's done is done. I'm a hacker, who isn't? Now, I'd like to discuss some countermeasures for any future attacks on this school." He glanced at Goriki. "That is, if anyone is willing to lend an ear without any bias."

The treasurer huffed and turned away. "Well, I suppose I owe you for getting me out of trouble earlier."

"I would also like to hear some of these measures you have planned," Ayame said, keeping her grin.

"I am interested in what you have to suggest, Mr. Hikigaya," Anna said with a smile. "Please, tell us what you have in mind."

Hachiman grinned. "Alright, here's what we do…"

* * *

Hachiman and Ayame sat on the rooftop during their break, plotting their next move.

"I have to say," Ayame said. "You're one manipulative SOB. All those countermeasures you offered have gotten Anna eating out of the palm of your hand. Although, I can think of something else she could eat."

"Please do not taint my persuasive talent with your lewd comment," Hachiman said in annoyance. "Now, what's next on the agenda for SOX?"

Ayame turned to him with a grin. "Phase two: dirty mags."

"Dirty mags?" Hachiman repeated in a questioning tone. "I thought those were all scrapped once the new law came in."

Ayame handed him a map with a circle focusing on a certain area.

"This is the location of a special smut stash," she said, crossing her arms. "You are to find it."

Hachiman sighed as he pocked the map. "No rest for the wicked, it seems."

"Damn straight," Ayame replied. "We're hiding those sticky pickies around the school. That fly video already got everyones' pants tightened and/or moistened, so now, we're blowin' the dam!"

"Figured as much," Hachiman said, dialing a number on his PM.

"What are you doing?" Ayame asked.

"What else?" Hachiman replied in a sardonic tone. "I'm making a deal with the devil."

* * *

Hachiman sat alone in the train car, holding his pistol. He wore a purple hoodie with flame decals, blue jeans and gray sneakers. He also had a backpack, holding on to the straps as he looked at his gun.

"I don't know why I brought this damn thing," he said to himself. "It's not like anyone else knows about the stash. Then again, it never hurts to be prepared."

The train came to a stop, and he pocketed his pistol. Once the doors opened, he stepped out and saw a familiar, yet irritating face.

"We really should stop meeting like this. People are going to talk."

(**Durarara! OST: He's Such a Coward that He Can Laugh**)

Izaya stood in front of him with his usual smug grin, leaning against a motorbike.

"Get over your damn self," Hachiman replied. "I just needed you to deliver the bike."

"And deliver, I did," Izaya said, getting off the bike. "I present to you the Suzuki CV650. This motorized work of art is mixture of classic and modern, sporting a lightweight chassis for an exciting and sporty ride, along with an excellent fuel economy for longer travels. Perfect for those wanting to escape local law enforcement."

Hachiman sighed. "You know, you should consider taking up theater. You really have a flare for the dramatic."

"I actually did a bit theatre in high school," Izaya admitted. "You should have seen me in Othello. My rendition of Iago was excellent."

"I'm sure it was," Hachiman replied dryly, getting on the bike. "I suppose I owe you for this?"

"Not at all," Izaya said, patting his back. "This one is on the house."

Hachiman widened his eyes. "What brought this on? You're not the type to offer help without expecting anything in return."

"Let's just say I'm in a generous mood," Izaya replied. "You might not believe me, but I want this country to get out of the rut it's in. All this surveillance and obsession with decency is not good for business."

Hachiman sighed as he put his helmet on. "Yeah, I figured you wouldn't be in this out of goodwill. I'll see you when I get back."

He started up the bike, then drove off as Izaya watched.

"That kid is gonna go places," he said. "And he's going to hit this dumb law where it hurts."

(**End song**)

* * *

Hachiman drove along the countryside, taking in the natural sights around him. To him, it was refreshing to be away from the city once a while. He had nothing against it, but he wasn't a fan of having his every move watched 24/7. In the country, the presence of CtOS was minimal, only focused on important areas such as banks. It was nice and quiet, and no crimes have been committed. However, there have been reports of remnants of "unclean materials" being circulated, but those are in the city. The country was another matter entirely.

He eventually made it to the spot marked on the map: an abandoned shack in the woods.

"This looks like the set up for a horror film," Hachiman mused as he got off the bike. "But that's neither here nor there. I got work to do."

He walked towards the shack and opened the door. Inside was a desk, a bed, old books, a TV and a old game console.

"Someone didn't pay the housekeeper enough," Hachiman snarked as he closed the door and took out a flashlight and turned it on. He looked around the room to see where the stash would be hidden. It was small, so he figured it wouldn't be too hard to find.

"To think that some old mags would be hiding in here," he mused. "I'll give credit to whoever hid them."

He looked under the bed and found a box. He picked it up and put it on the bed before opening it, revealing a stack of books.

"Now, what do we have here?"

Hachiman lifted one of the books and saw one with with a beautiful woman wearing a bikini. He flipped through the pages and looked through each one with piqued interest.

"This appears adequate," he said. "Ayame will like what I've brought." He put the books in his backpack and walked towards the door, only to hear some voices outside.

"Someone left their bike here. Guess that means the stash has been taken."

"Are you kidding me? We need that stuff. I'm not going to lose a finger for coming back empty-handed."

"We should probably beat up the sap and take the stash for ourselves."

"Sure, why not."

Hachiman's blood ran cold. Other people were looking for the stash as well, and one of them mentioned losing a finger. That alone gave him a grim hint at who he was dealing with.

"Please tell me it's not who I think it is," he muttered. He turned the knob and slowly opened the door a little. There, he saw four men wearing suits, holding firearms.

"Damn… it's the yakuza."

* * *

**KS: It looks like Hachiman is in trouble. How will he get out of this predicament? And will he get out with his fingers intact? Find out next time, and be sure do review, fave and follow. Peace out.**


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